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Refusing Gay Weddings - Isn't There Enough Hate In The World?

Gay Weddings Albany NY

By Jeffrey House Photography


As a wedding photographer, I pay a lot of attention to news, stories, and trends as they pertain to weddings.  It amazes me how many stories I see about wedding professionals/vendors refusing to participate in gay weddings.  


I'm not a psychiatrist.  I haven't had any formal training in psychology or sociology, but I have life experience.  In my experience, it seems that many men and women "fear" people that are gay.  Many of them seem to believe they are somehow irresistible in the eyes of gay men and women - like everyone that is gay is trying to "convert" them.  

I've got news for you - you're not irresistible to straight men and women, so get over yourself.

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the world can be an ignorant and difficult to digest

It seems every time you turn on the TV, there are senseless acts of violence - hate crimes, school shootings, etc.  It can make you feel like the world is unraveling one thread at a time.  It can be pretty depressing.  Our society appears to have become increasingly self-absorbed.  People have forgotten basic manners, let alone respecting and accepting our differences.

Regardless or race, religion or sexual orientation, we are all people.  If we continue to treat or hate each other because of our differences, we are only demonstrating our own ignorance.  

Life is kind of funny.  Not a "ha-ha" kind of funny, but more or an ironic funny.  During our elementary/high school years, we do everything in our power to be "normal" or conform.  When be become adults, most people are tying to find ways to be different and express themselves.  However, "different" seems to only be acceptable when it supports our own beliefs, otherwise we often reject anyone that doesn't agree with our sense of distinct.  

it doesn't support my religion or personal beliefs

I see wedding professionals refusing to work with gay couples because "gay" isn't supported by their religion or their personal beliefs.  Since when does religion run your business?  Many of these businesses use questionable or unethical business practices - how does your religion support this?  

Generally speaking, people run their own business because they are following a dream or they want to be their own boss and make their own futures.  They accomplish this by providing a product and/or service to the public.  They are entrepreneurs. 

Let's look at this for a minute.

Entrepreneur:  a person who organizes and operates a business or businesses, taking on greater than normal financial risks in order to do so.

Public:  of or concerning the people as a whole.

In the definition of "entrepreneur" and "public," where does  it mention personal beliefs or religion?  Where does it exclude people based on race, religion or sexual orientation?  

It doesn't.

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weddings are about love and each story is different

Whether you are straight or gay, weddings are ultimately about love and everyone's story is different.  

Love doesn't discriminate, people do.  Love doesn't hate, people do.  Love doesn't exclude, people do.  Love doesn't care about race, religion, sexual orientation or your personal beliefs.  It's about honesty, trust, and being kind to one another.  

Be kind to one another.

where do you draw the line

For those wedding professionals/vendors out there that refuse to work with gay couples, I have a question for you.  Whether you are capable of self-reflection and gaining perspective will play a significant role in your ability to provide a truthful response.  However, imagine for a moment that you're a photographer or DJ or videographer or whatever.  Can you imagine if every couple refused to hire you because you're left handed?


You might try to say it's the not the same thing, but if you can be honest for a moment, it is.  Being gay is not a choice and neither is handedness.  Just because you're gay or left handed or have an accent, it doesn't mean you should be excluded from anything, especially love. 

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let's at least try to be better

We don't have to share the same thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about every topic.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.  However, your opinion doesn't entitle you to demonstrate hate.  

“Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts.”
— E.B. White
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
— Philo
“You can’t expect to make no effort. You still have to make the effort and be kind, and understanding.”
— Zooey Deschanel

Enough is enough.  It's time to stop hating and excluding others because of fear, pride, insecurity, weakness, and ignorance.  We need to look beyond ourselves and find ways to inject respect, acceptance, and good in the world.  We can all do better.

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