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6 Details All Couples Hate About Wedding Planning

Wedding Planning Tips

By Jeffrey House Photography

 

"I hate wedding planning and can't wait for it to be over!"

Sadly, a lot of couples feel this way.  Their wedding planning becomes so overwhelming and frustrating, they can't wait for it to be done.  This is your wedding.  While planning a wedding can be stressful, I don't want you to hate it.  Planning your wedding is part of the overall experience and this article is going to help you find happiness in your planning!  

How?

Wedding planning tips!  Sounds easy enough, right?  That's because it is.  It's likely you've never planned a wedding before, so it's nearly impossible for you to know what to expect.  That's where I come in.  I'm around weddings all the time, so I'm going to share wedding planning tips to bring the fun back to planning!   

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6 details all couples hate about wedding planning

Wedding planning tips

1.  the guest list

In all of the years I've been photographing weddings, I've never met a couple that didn't experience stress when it comes to creating a guest list.  It seems there are always a few people that will complain about your guest list because you didn't allow children or because you won't allow your 15 year old niece to bring her boyfriend.  There will always be someone pouting - #Tantrums!  

The biggest mistake couples make when it comes to the guest list is inviting too many people.  Almost every couple, in hindsight, looks back and wishes they had a smaller wedding.  It's very easy for the guest list to get out of control because you often feel obligated to invite some guests.  This is especially true when it comes to family because parents often have their own agenda when it comes to the guest list and this can create difficult situations. 

Here are my top tips for creating your guest list:

  1. Create a list of people you MUST invite
  2. Create a list of people you'd LIKE to invite and prioritize this list as you make it
  3. Determine your stance on inviting children
  4. Determine your stance on +1 invites
  5. Determine your stance on inviting co-workers  

Whether or not to invite someone to your wedding can be a tough decision, but don't be afraid to set boundaries and stick to them - it's impossible to please everyone.  To learn even more about creating a killer guest list, check out my full article! 

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2.  the wedding party

Much like the guest list, many couples look back at their wedding and wish they had a smaller wedding party.  With large wedding parties, you increase your wedding expenses and increase your chances for drama.  As you begin planning your wedding, you're excited.  It's common to rush into getting your wedding party set, but hold off. 

Spend a week or two thinking about your expectations for the wedding party.  Once you feel like you have clear expectations, make a list of people you believe will be 100% supportive of you and your wedding.  It's common to think of close friends, but they aren't always the best choice.  Maybe your best friend has been in your life for 20 years, but they're that "jealous" friend - you know what I mean?   They're happy for you, but they also hold things against you because you did something first or because you did it better?  Remember, like the guest list, you don't need to ask people to be part of your wedding because you feel obligated too.    

Surround yourself with a wedding party that genuinely supports you.  As you extend invitations to be part of it, clearly communicate your expectations and give them a couple days to think about it.  Let them know - if they don't or can't meet your expectations, it's okay to decline - no hard feelings.    

Generally speaking - if your wedding is less than 200 people keep your wedding party to 2-4 people per side or 4-8 people total.  If you're having 200 or more guests you can consider a larger wedding party of 4-6 per side or 8-10 people total.  If you want to learn more about choosing your wedding party, check out our full article 7 tips for choosing your wedding party

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3.  wedding budgets

When it comes to the price of a wedding, most couples experience a little sticker shock.  With that being said, many couples make the same mistake when it comes to the finance portion of their wedding.  Their budget is based on what they think something should cost, not what it actually costs.  I've seen a lot of couples that think wedding photography should cost $1,000 - $1,500 for 8 hours of coverage, but that just not reality.  I'm sure you can find a photographer that will do it for that price and that's great if your wedding photography isn't important to you. 

The other mistakes I see couples make is using a price a friend paid for their wedding.  For example, I've seen couples budget $700 for a DJ because their friend paid $700 a year ago for their DJ.  But, your friend hired an inexperienced DJ and their wedding was in January.  As you look for a DJ for your June wedding, everyone is charging at least $1,300.  If you underestimate your wedding budget by almost 50% on every detail, it's going to cause you a lot of anxiety.    

Before you begin your planning, go to www.costofwedding.com.  Once you enter a few pieces of information, it will provide you with a breakdown of each detail and the average cost for those details.  What's great about this site, is the information is targeted to your specific area, so you know what to expect.  For even more information, check out our full article on 7 great tips for making a wedding budget!

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4.  Expecting perfection

Planning a wedding is an emotional experience.  You pour your heart and soul into making every detail as perfect as possible.  Of course you want it to be perfect. 

The challenge with weddings is they have a lot of moving parts.  You have to plan your wedding venue, food, beverage, flowers, centerpieces, table arrangements, cakes, photographer, DJ, videographer, officiant, ceremony, vows, favors, wedding dress, bridal accessories, wedding party, and on, and on, and on.  It's important to accept that with all of these moving parts, something is bound to go wrong.  It's okay, in most circumstances it's not a big issue - it can be fixed.  

Expecting perfection is really about changing your mindset.  Forget perfect and accept issues.  This is another reason why it's so important to surround yourself with a supportive wedding party and great wedding professionals (DJ, photographer, etc.).  At times, I get wind of something that's gone wrong at a wedding and I'll step in to help resolve it so the couple never has to deal with it.  Sure, this technically isn't "my job," but I do what I can to make sure your day is as stress free as possible. 

5.  trustworthy professionals

One of the biggest fears couples have is hiring sketchy wedding professionals.  You've paid them in full and now you have to worry whether or not they will even show up on the wedding day.  You don't need this anxiety.  But, hiring trustworthy wedding professionals has become more and more difficult.  This is especially true with wedding photographers because affordable DSLR's have become readily available.  Social media doesn't help either because it provides people with a free way of marketing themselves as a professional.  So what are some tips when it comes to hiring trustworthy professionals?

Make Sure They Have A Professional Domain Name And A Professional Website

Good Domain Name:  www.JeffreyHousePhotography.com

Bad Domain Name:  www.wixwebsites.com/jeffreyhousephototography/341!%2

A professional website costs $200-$300 per year.  If your wedding professional can't invest $200-$300 in themselves, why should you invest thousands?

Website With Strong Social Media Presence

Hiring a "Facebook" photographer or a "Facebook" DJ is a recipe for disaster.  What are "Facebook" photographers andDJ's?  They don't have a website, they simply use this free platform to market their business.  Unfortunately, many of these "wedding professionals" are sketchy.  They entice you with cheap prices.  They over promise and severely under deliver.  Often times, they flat out scam you. 

Any wedding professional you're considering should have a professional website and a strong social media presence.  Wedding professionals aren't going to be on every social media platform, but they should be on 3-4 of them.  For example, I have a professional website and I have social media business profiles on Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and Google Businesses.  More importantly, I'm active on all of them.  If you're considering a wedding professional that has 4 social media profiles, but isn't active on any of them, keep looking!  This is a red flag!  

They Should Always Work With A Contract

Never hire a wedding professional that doesn't use a contract.  Contracts are meant to clearly define the agreement you have with the wedding professional and it should clearly outline everyone's responsibilities.  If you don't use a contract, you're setting yourself up to be scammed and scammed hard.  

References

View their website.  Do you see client reviews or testimonials posted?  Do they seem real?  If you don't get a good feeling from their reviews, ask for a reference or two to contact. 

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6.  social pressures

Social pressures are very real and come in many forms.   When it comes to weddings you will likely face social pressures from the internet, family, and friends.  

Take the internet for example.  It's amazing that you have so many resources at your fingertips 24 hours a day, but many of these resources can lead you to believe every detail of your wedding has to be this extravagant masterpiece.  Sometimes the social pressures are closer to home - friends and family.  It seems like everyone has that one friend and everything you do is an unspoken competition.  Whether it's who has the better job, nicer car or more lavish wedding.  

While it's easier said than done, it's vital to block out these social pressures.  Look inside yourself and determine what's really important to you with regards to your wedding and invest in those details.  There are plenty of ways to create lavish looking details, but at a fraction of the price.  

do you know anyone whose fallen victim to these 6 issues?  share your story with us, we'd love to hear from you!

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